ESPN Page 2's New Rules for College Football Fans

[Marcus Garvey]

Obviously I don't agree with them all, but I especially like Rules 4, 9 and 39 since I agree with those! xnodx

New Rules For College Football Fans (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=rules/070905)

[FCSFAN]

ESPeoNs
"4. If you attended a lower-division or NAIA school, you're allowed to pick a D-I school of your choice. But you must consistently root for that school year in and year out, and it's preferred that the school be geographically close to you.

4a. Or you can just root for Appalachian State every week."

[citdog]

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER, root for VMI!

[AggieFinn]

39. Anyone who calls Division I-AA by the new name "Division I Football Championship Subdivision" must receive one punch directly to the throat.

39a. If you are giving the punch, remember: This hurts you more than it hurts them.

...this is a funny list, I like it. :)

[UNHWildCats]

(j) Bragging about a victory, any victory: Two years*


* Note: Applies to Duke only

[UNHWildCats]

54. If you get on the message boards and/or call talk radio demanding that the coach be fired after your team loses the opener, you must stick with it and continue to pay the domain registration fee for FireLloydCarr.com for the next five years.
54a. Even when they turn it around and go 11-1.
54b. Or when Carr is fired.

[UNHWildCats]

57. Do not call the opposing punter a wuss from the safety of the stands. He's probably tougher than you are. And if he's from Northern Colorado, he might have to cut you.

LMAO

[Marcus Garvey]

Another slap at the ACC's worst program:


2. Your schools of allegiance must be in different conferences. Unless the conference in question is the ACC, in which case you may root for Duke and anyone else, since the Blue Devils might as well play in another conference – like, say, the Patriot League.

[AZGrizFan]

You may not bet against your favorite team unless you're: (a) trying to purge it of a rotten coach; (b) in Vegas and about to sell bodily fluids or organs to cover your previous losses (thanks, Michigan!);

xlolx xlolx xlolx xlolx xlolx xlolx

[AZGrizFan]

35. If your significant other went to a rival school, no sex on rivalry game day.
35a. If your significant other went to a rival school, all wagers should involve sex.


I especially like 35a! xnodx xnodx xnodx xnodx

[AZGrizFan]

43. You must always overestimate the strength of your favorite team's conference


89Hen, are you listening? ;)

[Reed Rothchild]

10. Please observe the following age limits on male attire:
• 25-and-under: Team jersey or shirtless (body paint mandatory)
• 26-35: T-shirt, jersey, shirtless if you work out at least three times per week and/or have a BMI reading of less than "morbidly obese"

xlolx xeekx

[Reed Rothchild]

17. Midwestern adults not wearing jersey of favorite white player to the game are penalized one Old Style.

[TheValleyRaider]

Another slap at the ACC's worst program:

Duke wishes they could play with the Patriot League

[Ivytalk]

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER, root for VMI!

If I went to school on that campus, I'd kill myself! Acres of drab gray, juxtaposed against the adjacent green serenity of Washington & Lee.

[Ivytalk]

Stupid-azzed article in general. Why does every sportswriter in general feel that he/she has to be so "clever"? One of the stupidest columns of all time!xthumbsdownx xthumbsdownx xthumbsdownx

[ButlerGSU]

41. Observe the following statutes of limitations:

(a) Bragging about national title: 25 years
(b) Bragging about a top-five finish: 15 years
(c) Bragging about a top-five finish if you are Ohio State, USC, Florida , Miami, Tennessee, Michigan, Florida State, Texas, Oklahoma: 0 years
(d) Bragging about a BCS bowl win: 10 years
(e) Bragging about a blowout BCS bowl win over Notre Dame: one year, or until someone else joins the club
(f) Bragging about Heisman winner: 10 years
(g) Bragging about Heisman winners whose last names rhyme with "Baretta": six months
(h) Bragging about Heisman winners named "O.J.": null
(i) Bragging about a big upset of your rival: Five years on a daily basis, for eternity at least twice a year
(j) Bragging about a victory, any victory: Two years*


Refer to (a) - Georgia Southern fans are still well within reason for most of ours ;-)

[813Jag]

I especially like 35a! xnodx xnodx xnodx xnodx
Rule 35 is true in my house. We don't sleep in the same room the night before Florida St/Florida. xlolx But if the Noles win, she's in trouble. xlolx

[jessesd]

Rule 35 is true in my house. We don't sleep in the same room the night before Florida St/Florida. xlolx But if the Noles win, she's in trouble. xlolx


she won't be in trouble this year!!!xlolx xlolx xlolx xrotatehx xrotatehx xrotatehx

I liked the caption under the phot at the beggining of the article

xbowx xbowx xbowx If you win the whole damn thing you can pretty much do what you want. Well, almost anything.xbowx xbowx xbowx xbowx

I think 37a is a sure thing!!!
1e. If it wasn't for these all FBS stadiums will be half empty!!!
15b....I can agree with that one.xthumbsupx xthumbsupx
24. We don't have any!!!xlolx xlolx

27...I don't agree here....Tailgaing at Florida starts on Friday or sometimes Thursday if its the Tennessee game or Wednesday if is against Georgia in JAX!!!

There is not tailgating at Hofstra....no grills allowed and all of the food consumed in the parking lots must be purchased from student services!!!xmadx xmadx xmadx xmadx

39 and 39A.....AMEN to that!!!!
40 been there and done that!!!
41 I'm ok with!
45.... I went over that limit already!!!xlolx xlolx xlolx
48... I wonder why????
57 ... to be a punter a at NColorado one must be willing to take a knife for the team!!!xwhistlex xwhistlex

[HIU 93]

39. Anyone who calls Division I-AA by the new name "Division I Football Championship Subdivision" must receive one punch directly to the throat.

39a. If you are giving the punch, remember: This hurts you more than it hurts them.

...this is a funny list, I like it. :)

40. I'll call it "Division I Football Championship Subdivision" and dare someone to punch me.

40a. If a FBS jackal decides to follow rule 39 and punch me, then they better make sure their insurance is paid up.xthumbsupx

[citdog]

If I went to school on that campus, I'd kill myself! Acres of drab gray, juxtaposed against the adjacent green serenity of Washington & Lee.

but the gals at Washington and Lee make up for it!

[bluehenbillk]

Good stuff.

[danefan]

http://assets.espn.go.com/photo/2007/0905/pg2_michiganfan_275.jpg


Photo Caption:
"And always be willing to take your I-AA medicine."

[bandl]

If I went to school on that campus, I'd kill myself! Acres of drab gray, juxtaposed against the adjacent green serenity of Washington & Lee.

xlolx xlolx xlolx So true, Ivy!

Years ago when I was touring around the campuses of Virginia, I stopped at Washington & Lee. Loved the campus, but eventually opted out of going there because it felt like a mini-UVA. xsmhx Then driving out of the place, we drove by VMI. I remember asking "What is that place?? Is that a prison?" Both my parents just laughed. xlolx xlolx xnodx xnodx

[lizrdgizrd]

xlolx xlolx xlolx So true, Ivy!

Years ago when I was touring around the campuses of Virginia, I stopped at Washington & Lee. Loved the campus, but eventually opted out of going there because it felt like a mini-UVA. xsmhx Then driving out of the place, we drove by VMI. I remember asking "What is that place?? Is that a prison?" Both my parents just laughed. xlolx xlolx xnodx xnodx
I had a similar experience with VMI! xlolx xlolx

I didn't understand how anyone could want to go there. xsmhx

[Marcus Garvey]

Then driving out of the place, we drove by VMI. I remember asking "What is that place?? Is that a prison?" Both my parents just laughed. xlolx xlolx xnodx xnodx

Makes complete sense to me. My cousin married a VMI grad and I've never met a more boring individual in my life. I think his favorite desert is unflavored ice milk. I also believe his last independent thought occurred sometime around 1992. xlolx xlolx xlolx

[T-Dog]

I would like to offer an addendum to #41

41.
(k) Bragging about the "upset of the century" (ESPN said it, not me): Forever

[citdog]

I had a similar experience with VMI! xlolx xlolx

I didn't understand how anyone could want to go there. xsmhx


and i don't know why anyone would want to go to any school with APP in it!

[citdog]

xlolx xlolx xlolx So true, Ivy!

Years ago when I was touring around the campuses of Virginia, I stopped at Washington & Lee. Loved the campus, but eventually opted out of going there because it felt like a mini-UVA. xsmhx Then driving out of the place, we drove by VMI. I remember asking "What is that place?? Is that a prison?" Both my parents just laughed. xlolx xlolx xnodx xnodx


it's ok to admit you wouldn't have made it there and would have run home to hide behind your mothers skirt after a couple of days.

[bandl]

it's ok to admit you wouldn't have made it there and would have run home to hide behind your mothers skirt after a couple of days.

Hold up there chap...you referring to W&L or that wastepit VMI?

If VMI, why in the ***** would I ever go there?? xconfusedx

W&L, one of two schools I got in early acceptance, along with UVA. Told them both to go ***** themselves. xnodx :D

[citdog]

If VMI, why in the ***** would I ever go there?? xnodx :D


because you've got a set betwixt your legs?

[bandl]

because you've got a set betwixt your legs?

True...true...but I wanted to learn a little something at college, not spend all my time on my knees hobnoggin' the upperclassmen my first year. xsmhx

[citdog]

True...true...but I wanted to learn a little something at college, not spend all my time on my knees hobnoggin' the upperclassmen my first year. xsmhx


or dedicate yourself to anything greater than your own self-interest.

[TheValleyRaider]

or dedicate yourself to anything greater than your own self-interest.

Hold on here, are you defending VMI?

I'm I reading this right?

citdog, is that really you?

[citdog]

Hold on here, are you defending VMI?

I'm I reading this right?

citdog, is that really you?


the enemy of my enemy is NOT my friend! i can say what i like about VMI. i earned the right!

[bandl]

Hold on here, are you defending VMI?

I'm I reading this right?

citdog, is that really you?

Yeah, I was confused too. xconfusedx I didn't know what to say....so I just stopped. :o

Maybe his boyfriend took over his computer while citdog's taking a nap?? ;)

[citdog]

Maybe his boyfriend took over his computer while citdog's taking a nap?? ;)


let me get this straight you are calling me a pillow biter?

[bandl]

let me get this straight you are calling me a pillow biter?

Not if you're the pitcher...;)

And I only said MAYBE! :p

[citdog]

Not if you're the pitcher...;)

And I only said MAYBE! :p

dbackjon i am not.xmadx xmadx xmadx

[bandl]

dbackjon i am not.xmadx xmadx xmadx

Noted. :)

Although he's a pretty good guy. xnodx From what I've heard. Not from what I've seen. Or felt. xconfusedx

I'll shut up. :o

[citdog]

Noted. :)

Although he's a pretty good guy. xnodx From what I've heard. Not from what I've seen. Or felt. xconfusedx

I'll shut up. :o

good idea!xlolx xlolx xnodx

[lizrdgizrd]

and i don't know why anyone would want to go to any school with APP in it!
I haven't seen the Citadel campus, but I'm sure it can't be as ugly as VMI's. App's is definitely much nicer than VMI's and we get to have classes with females in them. xeekx

[citdog]

I haven't seen the Citadel campus, but I'm sure it can't be as ugly as VMI's. App's is definitely much nicer than VMI's and we get to have classes with females in them. xeekx

it is nicer and you should come to the game this year. females with dreadlocks and hair in their pits who think pachoulie is a great substitute for a shower don't count!

[lizrdgizrd]

it is nicer and you should come to the game this year. females with dreadlocks and hair in their pits who think pachoulie is a great substitute for a shower don't count!
Fortunately that's only half the girls at App! xlolx xlolx