BisonTru
September 23rd, 2018, 02:29 AM
So since were in the midst of starting conference play. Let's take a look at the worst of the division. Do your own if you like, or just rag on mine.
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Disclaimer 1: Only 1 team from any conference makes my list. We could pick on the Pioneer, but they don't have scholarships. Kind of a big deal if you want to compete. We could also pick on the SWAC, but in reality once you factor in the Pioneer's teams travel most SWAC schools probably spend less on their football budget than even the Pioneer confernce.
Disclaimer 2: I did this a few years ago and there was a whole pit of garbage to pick from in the FCS; many teams losing to lower level schools and putting together incredible losing streaks. So far most teams are taking care of their LL games and some traditional dumpster fires have crawled out to respectable. So maybe our **** don't stink as bad as it use to.
Disclaimer 3: Arkansas Pine Bluff also deserves to be on this, but you know rules and ****. Honorable mentions to Marist and Davidson as well. Also since it's marker week Coach Stig's alcoholic beverage choice before driving probably deserves an honorable mention as well.
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10. Idaho - Ok, Portland State should probably be here given their only win the past two seasons is an awful NAIA team, but given the Vandals were down 5 TDs to UC-Davis going into the fourth quarter a year after moving DOWN from FBS, they get the spot. Really their only win as a new FCS team is D2 Western New Mexico who hasn't won their last 7 games. Win some FCS football games and you might come off this list. Till then you should be familiar with these kinds of list from your FBS days.
9. Sam Houston State - Two things you'll hear plenty often from Sammy fans is their most playoff wins from a team not name NDSU and I'm a Sammy hater. Well, you can pretty much cement me in that title now. I could have went with perennial door mat Houston Baptist, but they did beat their D2 payout game and they also won a D1 game last year. So congrats Huskies you get a break from this. Sammy should have lost the opener vs. Prairie View. Lost at home to UND and now gets boatraced by Nicholls St. Sorry Sammy you're not even a paper tiger any more. You're a wet crumbled piece of paper that once resembled a kitty cat. Hey, #hatersgonnahate.:D
8. Brown - The IVY league is big bag of meh. Nobody's really good. Nobody's really bad. Nobody plays anybody, and nobody is going to the playoffs. Massey has Brown as the worst team. So this is all the effort I'm putting into a conference that doesn't really care about the rest of us.
7. Campbell - The Big South is home to a lot of cool nicknames and some really bad football. Home to probably the coolest nickname and the worst team in the conference is the Fighting Camels. In close second place is the Blue hose for both cool nicknames and bad football.
6. Lafayette - The Patriot league has a three man race for the bottom with Bucknell and Georgetown but the Leopards haven't won a football game in just shy of a calendar year. Really to be fair to the rest of the Patriot conference outside of Colgate looks pretty damn awful. If the Pioneer and SWAC are turd sandwiches the Patriot is a turd sandwich with cheese.
5. Virginia Military Institute - VMI starts once again winless at 0-3 after not winning a game last year including a loss to D2 Catawba. According to Massey the only remaining game they have more than an 8% chance at winning is D2 Tusculum. Better get past those Pioneers or it's another 0 fer for the Keydets this season. I'd bet on Tusculum and I don't know anything about them.
4. Delaware St - I almost had Morgan State here given the Hornets beat them head to head last year which would be only the third win in two seasons between either program before today, but then this weekend the Golden Bears beat leader of the conference, FAKE 2017 national champion, and AGS's #6 team in the country NC A&T xconfusedx. So DSU you're back to a pretty familiar spot on this list.
3. Robert Morris - The Colonials only win this year is a 3 point squeaker by D2 Virginia State which would be only their 5th win in 3 years including a two point beatdown of D2 Malone. They don't have much of a chance to get a D1 win this year, but they should get another victory over D2 Central State (Ohio) who's only win last year was .... D1 Arkansas Pine Bluff xdontknowx. See Disclaimer #3.
2. Mississippi Valley State - Clenz's Delta Devils once again make the list. They've given up 130 points in the past two games. If it weren't for Arkansas Pine Bluff (See again Disclaimer #3) their only win in the past 3 years would be against Virginia Lynchburg who after some googling I don't even think is a college football team .... any level.
1. Valparaiso - Not only did the Crusaders let YSU put up 42 on them (Pelini spends more time bathing his cat then he does coaching his offense), but you lost to something called Truman State. On top of losing by two touchdowns, they gave Truman State their second win in 11 games. They do get a chance to beat fellow conference bottom feeder Davidson next week who gets a break from this list because despite not winning a D1 game the past 3 years they are 2-0 against something called Guilford and are winning their other "who in the hell is that" games.
Conferences off the list (MVFC, CAA, OVC) - The MVFC and the CAA, the top two conferences in FCS and with Missouri State and Rhode Island looking kinda ok for a change both don't make the list. Also the OVC doesn't have a representative after Austin Peay all of a sudden has jumped from setting losing streaks to damn near a playoff team last year.
Disclaimer #4: After further review on Virginia of Lynchburgh or something like that, I still haven't determined if they are actually a college football team, but they play 3 FCS opponents this season. Cmon guys, at least schedule D2 or NAIA with scholarships.
*I'll rep whoever can tell me what V of L is and what division or league or whatever football they play in.
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Disclaimer 1: Only 1 team from any conference makes my list. We could pick on the Pioneer, but they don't have scholarships. Kind of a big deal if you want to compete. We could also pick on the SWAC, but in reality once you factor in the Pioneer's teams travel most SWAC schools probably spend less on their football budget than even the Pioneer confernce.
Disclaimer 2: I did this a few years ago and there was a whole pit of garbage to pick from in the FCS; many teams losing to lower level schools and putting together incredible losing streaks. So far most teams are taking care of their LL games and some traditional dumpster fires have crawled out to respectable. So maybe our **** don't stink as bad as it use to.
Disclaimer 3: Arkansas Pine Bluff also deserves to be on this, but you know rules and ****. Honorable mentions to Marist and Davidson as well. Also since it's marker week Coach Stig's alcoholic beverage choice before driving probably deserves an honorable mention as well.
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10. Idaho - Ok, Portland State should probably be here given their only win the past two seasons is an awful NAIA team, but given the Vandals were down 5 TDs to UC-Davis going into the fourth quarter a year after moving DOWN from FBS, they get the spot. Really their only win as a new FCS team is D2 Western New Mexico who hasn't won their last 7 games. Win some FCS football games and you might come off this list. Till then you should be familiar with these kinds of list from your FBS days.
9. Sam Houston State - Two things you'll hear plenty often from Sammy fans is their most playoff wins from a team not name NDSU and I'm a Sammy hater. Well, you can pretty much cement me in that title now. I could have went with perennial door mat Houston Baptist, but they did beat their D2 payout game and they also won a D1 game last year. So congrats Huskies you get a break from this. Sammy should have lost the opener vs. Prairie View. Lost at home to UND and now gets boatraced by Nicholls St. Sorry Sammy you're not even a paper tiger any more. You're a wet crumbled piece of paper that once resembled a kitty cat. Hey, #hatersgonnahate.:D
8. Brown - The IVY league is big bag of meh. Nobody's really good. Nobody's really bad. Nobody plays anybody, and nobody is going to the playoffs. Massey has Brown as the worst team. So this is all the effort I'm putting into a conference that doesn't really care about the rest of us.
7. Campbell - The Big South is home to a lot of cool nicknames and some really bad football. Home to probably the coolest nickname and the worst team in the conference is the Fighting Camels. In close second place is the Blue hose for both cool nicknames and bad football.
6. Lafayette - The Patriot league has a three man race for the bottom with Bucknell and Georgetown but the Leopards haven't won a football game in just shy of a calendar year. Really to be fair to the rest of the Patriot conference outside of Colgate looks pretty damn awful. If the Pioneer and SWAC are turd sandwiches the Patriot is a turd sandwich with cheese.
5. Virginia Military Institute - VMI starts once again winless at 0-3 after not winning a game last year including a loss to D2 Catawba. According to Massey the only remaining game they have more than an 8% chance at winning is D2 Tusculum. Better get past those Pioneers or it's another 0 fer for the Keydets this season. I'd bet on Tusculum and I don't know anything about them.
4. Delaware St - I almost had Morgan State here given the Hornets beat them head to head last year which would be only the third win in two seasons between either program before today, but then this weekend the Golden Bears beat leader of the conference, FAKE 2017 national champion, and AGS's #6 team in the country NC A&T xconfusedx. So DSU you're back to a pretty familiar spot on this list.
3. Robert Morris - The Colonials only win this year is a 3 point squeaker by D2 Virginia State which would be only their 5th win in 3 years including a two point beatdown of D2 Malone. They don't have much of a chance to get a D1 win this year, but they should get another victory over D2 Central State (Ohio) who's only win last year was .... D1 Arkansas Pine Bluff xdontknowx. See Disclaimer #3.
2. Mississippi Valley State - Clenz's Delta Devils once again make the list. They've given up 130 points in the past two games. If it weren't for Arkansas Pine Bluff (See again Disclaimer #3) their only win in the past 3 years would be against Virginia Lynchburg who after some googling I don't even think is a college football team .... any level.
1. Valparaiso - Not only did the Crusaders let YSU put up 42 on them (Pelini spends more time bathing his cat then he does coaching his offense), but you lost to something called Truman State. On top of losing by two touchdowns, they gave Truman State their second win in 11 games. They do get a chance to beat fellow conference bottom feeder Davidson next week who gets a break from this list because despite not winning a D1 game the past 3 years they are 2-0 against something called Guilford and are winning their other "who in the hell is that" games.
Conferences off the list (MVFC, CAA, OVC) - The MVFC and the CAA, the top two conferences in FCS and with Missouri State and Rhode Island looking kinda ok for a change both don't make the list. Also the OVC doesn't have a representative after Austin Peay all of a sudden has jumped from setting losing streaks to damn near a playoff team last year.
Disclaimer #4: After further review on Virginia of Lynchburgh or something like that, I still haven't determined if they are actually a college football team, but they play 3 FCS opponents this season. Cmon guys, at least schedule D2 or NAIA with scholarships.
*I'll rep whoever can tell me what V of L is and what division or league or whatever football they play in.